Changes

The call came last Wednesday afternoon. My mom's voice was weak. Instantly, my stomach flipped and my hands started shaking. She had been in a car accident. Another driver ran a red light. Their SUV was no match for my mom's sedan. It was a head-on crash. Thankfully, except for a fractured knee and some bruises, my mom is fine.

Before leaving the hospital, we were told she couldn't put any weight on her injured knee. Since she lives with us in a split foyer house, we knew she wasn't coming home right away. So the decision was made. She would stay with a friend who doesn't have stairs.

While I'm grateful to have an amazing support system, this move has put our family in a tailspin! Mom takes care of my two boys while my husband and I work. She also manages to help me with some of the household chores. I never worry about dirty dishes or the lack of clean clothes because I know it's done. Spoiled? Maybe a little, but we all contribute in our house. It's a system. Like a machine. Not exactly well-oiled but well-maintained.

Today, as I left my boys with my mom and her friend, I felt exhausted—physically and mentally. There was so much preparation that went into the six-hour long stay—food, toys, blankies, favorite stuffed animals.

I was running late for work. As I sat at a stoplight yelling at other drivers watching the seconds tick away on my dashboard clock, I began thinking about the families staying at the house. This accident was really very minor and we are playing a game of “Fruit Basket Upset.” Some of our families are coping with much worse emergencies that lead to months of ups and downs. Some of them are away from their homes and their other children for weeks, even months. They begin referring to their room at the house as home. Scheduled trips to and from the hospital take over the daily work commute and little league practices. They make friends with other families at the hospital and house. It becomes another life. One mom who stayed with at the house for six weeks while her baby was in NICU said her present had become her past. Nothing would ever be exactly the same as before.

In fact, clothing and transportation also become hurdles. Many times the families come by ambulance or helicopter in emergency situations. They are not prepared for a lengthy hospital visit. They come to us scared and worried about their child and their home. They make frantic calls finding neighbors and friends to take care of mundane tasks like bills, yardwork, and groceries for those left behind. Often, they are concerned about their jobs, wondering if there will even be one when they return to their past. Life changes and so does the way they live it.

So as I left that stoplight and looked again at the clock on my dash, I eased up on the gas pedal and loosened my grip on the steering wheel. Yeah, I was going to be a few minutes late for work. Shuffling my boys from one house to another is not going to be easy, but at the end of the day, we get to go home and continue living the life that we know, and that's all that really matters.


Jamie Martinson
House Manager